Suicide, Depression, and Reaching Out

Happy Friday, readers and writers. Normally on Fridays I post something fun and light-hearted. Today, however, there’s a crucial topic that should be covered first: depression and suicide.

As you might have heard, beloved TV personality Anthony Bourdain committed suicide. Earlier this week, Kate Spade, a prolific American fashion designer, and Ines Zorreguieta, sister to Queen Maxima of the Netherlands, reportedly took their lives as well. Unfortunately, these are just high-profile examples of a very prominent issue.

In the United States alone, there is an average of 123 suicides per day, amounting to 44,965 deaths by suicide per year. A report from the CDC also indicates that suicide rates in the United States have risen by more than 30% since 1999. Global statistics from Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE) indicate that there is one death by suicide every 40 seconds, suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for those 15-24 years old, and depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.

So, why am I discussing this on a blog about writing? First of all, it’s very important to spread awareness of this issue. I think the statistics alone speak to that. Second of all, writers and other creative types are no strangers to depression and suicide. The following is just a small sample of the long list of writers who committed suicide: Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Ernest Hemingway, Anne Sexton, Hunter S. Thompson, Gerard de Nerval, Arthur Koestler, Vladimir Mayakovsky, Cesare Pavese, and Yukio Mishima.

The third, and perhaps most important, reason is that I have suffered from depression and know many people who also suffer from depression. I’ve never wanted to take my own life, thankfully, and I don’t know if any of my friends or family members with depression have thought about it, but it’s always a major concern when it comes to depression, like a Dementor looming over your shoulder, just waiting for the most opportune moment to give you the Kiss. (Please excuse the Harry Potter reference; J.K. Rowling really hit the nail on the head with the Dementor/depression metaphor.)

Suicide is preventable. The problem is that many people who have these thoughts do not get the help they need. Often, they suffer in silence due to the social stigma surrounding mental illness. We are made to think that any degree of mental illness is a weakness or our own fault–most times, it’s considered both. Asking for help is also seen as a weakness, as a sign that we are incapable of taking care of ourselves. No matter how you look at it, society has influenced us to think that we cannot reach out for help or even let on that something’s wrong because we will be shunned.

Maybe that’s why the people who kill themselves are usually the ones we least expect. They don’t want other people to know that they’re having problems. They don’t want that “crazy” or “weak” stigma attached to them. As a result, they don’t get the help and support that they need, even if loved ones would be more than willing to provide it.

How can we help our loved ones with this problem? Really, all we can do is be there. We have to show them that we love them and will support them no matter what, and we have to let them know that they will not be ostracized or judged for having problems. Let them know that reaching out for help, whether it’s from a therapist or just a sympathetic ear, will not make them weak. Most importantly, if something feels off, our loved one is behaving abnormally, or our loved one disappears for a while, we need to trust our instincts and reach out to them. We can’t just assume that they will work it out or that it can wait for another time. If we do, there might not be a next time.

Obviously, we can’t always stop this from happening. Humans have free will and will do what they want to do or what they feel they have to do, and sometimes pressuring someone to open up too much will do the exact opposite of what we’re aiming to do. Still, we can be there and offer all the love and support that the other person is willing to receive. Sometimes that’s enough, especially when many people demonstrate this sort of support for the person.

If you struggle with depression and/or thoughts of suicide, know that you are not alone. I know it can be hard to reach out, especially if you feel stigmatized because of your issues. I know that depression can make it hard to feel as though you can open up to anyone or that anyone will even care, but someone out there does care about you.

Finally, if you are contemplating suicide or you suspect a loved one is considering it, please visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline to get help and resources for getting through this difficult time. Also, if you have already survived an attempt or you have lost someone to suicide, there are resources on the website to help you handle the trauma.

My apologies for starting off the weekend this way. I promise to have more light-hearted material up in the next few days; this issue is just very important to me and I want to make sure that people know that they can get and give help.